Peer Pressure

How many of you feel pressured by your friends?  Or do you sometimes pressure them to get your way?

Peer Pressure.  We've all felt it and we've all made someone else feel it, too.  Why do we give in?  What can we do to be more like 'ourselves' and less like the crowd?

First - why we give in.  We give in to it because everybody likes to belong.  We all want to feel like we fit in, that people like us, that someone cares about our day-to-day lives.  So we get in a clique or start hanging out with some friends.  But, this has its dark side - sometimes people are so desperate to fit in, they are willing to say or do things they probably normally would not do. And you might be one of those people or you might even be influencing someone else to do something they wouldn't normally do.  You definitely don't want that.  It's better to be out than 'in' with a crowd you don't necessarily like. 

What can you do to be more like yourself and less like the crowd?

First - by realizing that you are unique!  There is no one else like you on the earth.  God made each of us perfectly and individually.  He made you just the way He wanted you to be - tall or short, big or
small, we are exactly the way we are meant to be!

So, knowing that should influence how we behave and who we behave that way with.  It will never be easy to be yourself if you hang out with people who are nothing like you.  That doesn't mean if you're messy, you can't hang out with neat freaks, but it does mean you'll find it harder to relate to gang members if you're in the chess club.

So, find people who are like you - who share the same interests, who hang out at the same places you like to hang.  If it feels like you have to force yourself to be somewhere because that's where your 'friends' are, then those probably are not really your friends at all. Next time you are out with someone or a group, think of how you feel.  Remember the people who made you laugh or made you feel the most comfortable - those are the people you want to make sure you hang out with the most.  Also remember the ones who made you feel the worst - they talked about you, the told people things you told them privately.  Make sure to cut your time with them short.  A true friend is someone who accepts you the way you are, not someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.

Last of all, realize that whatever you are experiencing now - 100 close friends or just one - it's all temporary.  This time in your life will pass and the next few years will probably be nothing like the last few. So, don't worry if you don't have a lot of friends - just make sure that the friends you have are 'real'.  Those are the friendships that are going to last. And know that if you are genuine, you will attract genuine people to you, even if it seems to be taking a while!

So, if you're feeling pressured - don't.  Just keep in mind who you are, what type of friends you want and stick with that.  The right set of friends (who won't pressure you) might be right around the corner!