By Johann Christoph Arnold
Many problems in our society will be solved when young men are willing
to become good fathers. Of course, they can do this only if they have
an example to follow. As fathers, we need to be the strongest role
models for children, especially for our sons.
I loved my father. He had a tremendous sense of humor, but he also was
strict and set boundaries which I didn't always appreciate at the time.
I always knew he loved me. Once when I was eight or nine, I angered him
so much that he threatened to punish me. I looked up at him and,
before I knew what I was doing, blurted out, "Papa, I'm really sorry.
Do what you have to do-but I know you still love me." To my
astonishment, he leaned down, put his arms around me and said with a
tenderness that came from the bottom of his heart: "Christoph, I
forgive you."
Like many fathers today, my father's work sometimes kept him away from
home for long stretches. I remember as a five-year-old, if I refused to
obey, all my mother needed to do was to show me his picture. "Your Papa
wouldn't like it," she'd tell me, and I'd give in.
I felt very secure just being with my father. As a small boy I decided
I wanted to be like him when I grew up. This relationship held me
through hard times, even after his death. Now I want to pass this on to
my children, grandchildren, and to all of you.
Fathers, if you love your wife and if you love your children, give them
your time. Spending time together will give your family inner and
emotional security. This is much more important than financial
security. The Chilean poet Gabriela Mistral writes, "Many things can
wait. Children cannot... To them we cannot say 'tomorrow.' Their name
is today."
The love we show our children by giving them our time and attention can
hold them in good stead even years down the road. As Dostoevsky reminds
us in The Brothers Karamazov, "You must know that there is nothing
higher and stronger and more wholesome for life in the future than some
good memory, especially a memory of childhood, of home...For if a man
has only one good memory left in his heart, even that may keep him from
evil."
To be a father is to fulfill a noble vocation. But fatherhood is not
for everyone: it is not for cowards or for those who are unsure of
themselves. Once we become fathers, we remain fathers until we die. A
true father must be a leader-a captain who guides his family's ship
through perilous waters to safe shores, a general who rallies his
troops to take on the daily battles.
On the other hand, a father should also model love and compassion.
Jesus was not afraid to compare himself to a hen gathering her chicks.
He also wept. These qualities belong to true manhood, and a true father
will seek to embody them.
Finally, I believe even the best intentioned fathers will not be able
to fulfill their task without finding a firm faith in God. When they
do, our families and the entire country will be strengthened, because
strong families form the backbone of our nation.
[Johann Christoph Arnold is a pastor and author of ten books, which are now available as free e-books at www.plough.com.]
