Urban Christianz Ministries

The Real Cost of Premarital Sex

How can something that feels so good be so wrong? Isn't being in a committed relationship the same thing as being married?  Many teenagers are faced with these questions when it comes to making the decision whether or not to have sex.  It's kinda hard to say no when you are in love, engaged, attracted to or committed to someone.  So why should you wait?  Here are some reasons why:

The Purpose of Sex

Simply put, God's purpose for sex was so that human beings could have children.  He gave us the commandment to 'be fruitful and multiply' (Genesis 1:22) and, as an extra bonus, he made sex pleasurable for both men and women.  Men and women are uniquely designed to enjoy the sexual act with one another and a significant bonding occurs when a couple has sex.  But the effect is not equal!  Women feel one thing the morning after and men feel something entirely different.

What Happens When You Have Sex

One of the hormones released during sex is Oxytocin.  Oxytocin causes a person to want to touch and be touched.  Oxytocin also causes a person to become emotionally, physically and emotionally bonded to the person he or she has had sex with.  So, both men and women feel close to their partner after sex, but men also produce the hormone vasopressin, which causes them to feel 'responsible' for the person they have had sex with.  It's a good thing when that man is married, but not when he is single.  The last thing most single men want to feel is 'responsible' for a woman they are casually dating. Sometimes, that feeling of responsibility may drive the man away if he is not serious about the person he is dating. Because of these hormonal interactions, women usually feel more 'clingy' after sex and men seem more 'distant'.

Teenage Pregnancy and STDs

Here are some of the other potential downfalls to having premarital sex:  In 2000, 84 out of every 1,000 females between the ages of  15-19  became pregnant.  This is not to say that you do not want or would not take care of your child.  But wouldn't want your child to be in a home with both parents, if at all possible?  So, you can get pregnant or you could cause someone to be pregnant.  Or, you could get a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD).

God Told Me To Marry You

By Deb

Does the above statement sound familiar to you? Have you ever said that to someone? It seems to me that quite a number of Christians, especially women, are telling the opposite sex that God told them that he or she is supposed to be their husband or wife.

Well, I just want to put my "two cents" in on this subject and talk to the women. Girlfriend, God didn't tell you that the fine single brother in the tight suit, sitting on your left in the fifth row of the church is your future husband. I know, you have been watching and noticing him during Sunday services, prayer services, bible study, and you even noticed he was on the youth mentoring program. You're thinking to yourself, he would make a great father. After church, he always greets you with that perfect set of white teeth and that masculine hug and a "whiff" of his good smelling cologne and he always asks in that deep baritone voice "how you doing sister"? Right now, you are thinking, "Oh, I know he must want me."